As much as I am jealous that somtimes I don’t have those chances to go out and get fucked up everynight, I am glad I dont. I have my shit straight and I dont need alcohol and drugs to make me happy. I have all the things i need. My education, job, family, my bf, and mainz.
When worse comes to worst.
I know who has my back and i know who doesnt. Im not going to nag or bug. Its sad really but in all honesty its you against the world w ur select few. I know who has my back always. The person that tucked me in at night and told me they loved me gnite, the person that watched criminal minds reruns til 2 ‘clock a.m and ate junk w us just to hang when I had the chance to come over, the person that made my favorite foods just because i was over, the person that helped me find my savior, the person who was always there to listen, the person that showed me more love than my own mother, the person that loved me like i was their own. I thank the Lord I have you ; Josh, Jess, and my aunt. No exaggeration I would be NOTHING without you guys. You saved my life when there was nothing but ruins, guided me when i was lost , and helped me find the Lord. You made me into who i am today. When my own family turned their backs on me, yall made room for me and i thank you for the bottum of my heart bc w.o u i wouls b nothing.
My friends have been there for me since elementary lol wssp? We’re so cool right?
My bf, is the greatest. :)
Enough said.When times are bad, when im slipping, I need that reassurance and support thats its not that bad or hard. Thats its all gonna b okay. Thankyou
My nephew,
he is my life. The very motivation I have. What hurts him, hurts me and right now I am hurting.. and I cant imagine how your about to feel. I love you so much and i wished this didnt have to happen to you. It breaks my heart.
My heart hurts.
mayb i hope too much and dream too big.you will always set yourself up for disappointment when you dream unattainable dreams. .
Ahhh
Long day at work. 13 hours straight. been on my feet since like 5-11 without sitting dwn! my body hurts. I need to focus on school and pull those A’s and get these next three weeks over with and retake my act and hopefully score higher :(. then i need to find a new job and save my money and not procrastinate my senior thesis.my plan is to work all summer. I have been playing around too much w money with prom and my bday vaca. lol no more until my 18th bday :) . its weird to think ima b 18 soon..I have no idea how my life will be and who will b in it which actually scares me. Alot. Sometimes even the people I trust the most become distant. Sometimes i feel that me as a person, i get overwhelmed w the good times the good feelings but once u step back and really think its js an illusion, a figmentation of ur imagination. Makes u think whats real or do we js build connections and relRionships off of these pre destined emotions that u pretty much tell ur mind to think.there is reasons why u dnt like a certain thing or whatever but how much of the reason is orginal and how much is really based on extraneous factors? Ah thoughts for the night. I wonder if u know.how much it hurts to b me. I wish u could step into my shoes and understand. Js understanding and knowing is all i really ask. I dont expect much more bc theres nun more a person can do about it. :(
